7 Pillars of a Strong Relationship
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Blended Families: A Team Sport

Given divorce rates, and, recent data like the top 9 states for remarriage – it’s no wonder that blended families are the new normal. There was a time, in this country (not too long ago we might add) when divorce and blended families were few and far between (barring extreme circumstances). And while we certainly will not try to make this series a social statement about marriage, divorce and how our society has changed. We’ll just assume that it has–dramatically.

Blended Families

What we’re here to talk about, are the many challenges that blended families face and the new normal for thousands of families. The truth is, whether you two work together or not–what you do, good or bad, will not only affect your children, but their children and their children after them.

Blended families, can often feel like swimming upstream–working so hard, feeling as if you’re always taking one step forward and two steps backward.

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Your Marriage in 2011

Ushering in a new year is truly a blessing. The New Year represents a wonderful gift with new possibilities and opportunities. We would like to offer the following suggestions as you embark upon the New Year.

1. Take Inventory

Do a life assessment of where you are right now. Where do you want to go—to achieve? What do you need to release—to let go of in consciousness, in your home, and work place to make room for the new? What do you want to manifest—to bring forth in 2009? Make a list and consider the steps you will need to take to achieve your goals.

2. Decide What To Focus On First

Of all the things you want to achieve, select one to accomplish first. By focusing on one goal at a time, you focus your energy thereby enabling you to achieve it faster. After you have achieved your first goal, you can take that positive energy and focus it toward successfully achieving your next goal, then the next, and so on.

3. Create and Implement Your Plan of Action

You will need a plan to succeed in achieving your goals. List all of the steps (tasks) that you will need to take toward achieving your goal. Break down each step into smaller tasks and decide what needs to be done first, then second, third, etc. and include timetables. Start with your first goal, then first step, then first task and continue to work your plan.

4. Reward Yourself

Reward yourself as you go. Intermittent rewards provide incentive and momentum to help you succeed. Include a big, really meaningful reward when you accomplish your goal.

Congratulation! You’re a winner! Now move on to your next goal. As always, we are sending our love and wishing you an abundance of all good things in 2011.

10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage – Being Friends

Improve Marriage - Being FriendsFirst, we shared with you the importance of listening to your partner. It was a major factor in your becoming a couple. Because you were able to talk and be heard, you felt cared for and supported. And somewhere along the process, you became friends and lovers. At least, we hope so.

A good friend is a person you can talk to. You can share your most intimate thoughts, secrets, worries and feelings without fear of shame or ridicule. You are confident that your friend will always be there for you 24-7 no matter what by offering unconditional love and support. And because you have a friend you can count on, you are better able to handle life’s challenges.

It’s really unfortunate and quite sad that far too often, couples start off being friends but lose their friendship along the way. And when you lose your friendship, you lose a very important aspect of your relationship. Too often, friendship takes a back seat to work, bill paying, child rearing, cooking, cleaning, grass cutting, and a lot of “things to do” to manage a household. However, a relationship is not much fun when all you do is to get bogged down with a lot of “tasks.” Is it any wonder, then, that your relationship may not be nearly as exciting as it once was?

We’d like to suggest that it is possible to “do life” and be friends. In fact, we’d even suggest that life works far better when your friendship is the underlying basis for everything you do in life.

If you’d like to restore the kind of loving connection you once had, we’d suggest that you schedule the time on a daily basis to talk like you once did. And, really listen to each other without judgment or advice–unless requested. Talk about your life challenges and your successes–about your worries, fears, hopes, and desires. Share your most intimate thoughts and feelings about where you are right now. And listen to each other not only with your head but also with your heart.