Every day we scour the Internet for resources to help our clients learn and grow together. From advice on how to spice up your marriage to financial advice to practical tips on facing the challenges of marriage together. This week, we’ve found 7 excellent resources that are worth a read. As they say, knowledge is power and this is certainly the case in relationships.
These articles will help you build a bright financial future together, making scrap booking romantic, sex and more.
Are you and your spouse or partner having money problems right now? If so, you’re not alone. Many couples are. The question is how are you handling it?
Even when things are going well, some couples fight about money. In a 2006 study conducted by Money magazine, 84% of the respondents said that money caused a lot of tension in their marriage/relationship. 15% fought about money several times a month. So money issues trigger a lot of the tension and fights in relationships.
When money is tight, some couples turn “on” each other rather than “to” each other. Fighting only makes the situation feel worse. Criticizing, blaming, fault finding, name calling and all of the other negative things we say and do when we fight is not the way to confront the problem. You may end up not even wanting to talk to your partner about it because of their reactive behavior. And if you don’t talk, you can’t solve the problem.
The key to dealing with any problem in a relationship, including money, is to work together to find a mutually acceptable solution that both of you can live with. It requires that you sit down together, discuss the situation calmly, brainstorm all of the possible solutions both of you can come up with, and then choose from among all of the ideas your best possible situations. This may require several brainstorming/problem
solving sessions. This approach will not only help you deal with the situation better, it is also likely to bring you closer together.
We also suggest that you:
Finally, it’s important to keep things in perspective. Whatever money problems you’re facing right now are temporary. Things will improve over time–especially, if you work together.
When couples seek our marriage advice, rarely to they talk about being stressed out over money. Many people, and couples, are worried about their finances. And why not? They have reason to. We’re in a recession.
If you’re in a relationship that has had problems all along, adding financial stress only makes the situation worse. Those problems plus financial stress converge to create a “perfect storm” that can have a devastating impact on relationships.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Buddy & Sophie proved this to be true in sharing their story in our book, “Mining for Gold In Your Relationships.” It wasn’t their financial problem that was the problem. Rather, it was the way they reacted to each other because of the problem.
Problems, no matter what the issue(s) might be, are not solved at the level of the problem. Attempting to solve problems at this level, most often, only results in couples fighting, blaming and criticizing each other, and being frustrated by “get nowhere” arguments that don’t lead to any solutions. We taught Buddy and Sophie a simple process to go beneath their surface issues involving money and enabled them to not only find a solution but resulted in them finding the “gold”–a deeper and more loving connection. They also have more money.
