Couples who experience the devastation of affairs, often struggle to develop the one skill that could literally mean the difference between restoration and destruction. Our marriage counseling experience has shown us, without true forgiveness, there can be no future together for you.
Forgiveness does not mean that you will forget what happened. What it means that while you will not forget it, you have decided to accept it and move forward with your lives without continually digging up the past.
In order to move forward and rebuild your relationship, you must forgive. Forgiveness begins with a decision to forgive. Until, or unless, you forgive, you will remain stuck in all of the emotional pain, anger, disappointment, and distrust because it will serve as a constant reminder of what has happened.
You will re-live the entire episode over and over again—like watching a bad movie repeatedly and not being able to “turn it off.” This is no way to live. You must decide to “hit the stop button” so that you can get on with your life and all the new, exciting, and marvelous possibilities that await you.
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been featuring articles that deal with marriage affairs. By far, in our marriage counseling experience, the biggest devastation to marriages, above all else. There is hope–by identifying your marriage problems, you can significantly decrease the chances your marriage would be destroyed by affairs. Here’s a few steps to help you identify your marriage problems.
The first step in figuring out what happened is to have an honest, open, and frank “problems in our marriage” brainstorming session within a maximum of a five-minute time limit. “Brainstorming” means that you list as many items as you can without discussion within the five-minute time limit. You don’t make long speeches, give examples, or explain what you mean. Simply state the problem in as few words as possible. Do not allow yourself to become reactive, critical, negative, or judgmental as you work. We suggest that you alternate putting items on your list.
If you've got the commitment and you're willing to do the work, our Mining For Gold Marriage Newsletter will help guide you along your journey to restoring and enriching the dream you once believed in.
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