Marriage Vault Blog

Valentine’s Day for Her

Melva and I recently met and have gotten to know a really fine young man. He and his wife are celebrating their 10 year anniversary on Valentine’s Day. Man, he’s gone all out. He’s given her a few hundred dollars for a new outfit; paid for her appointment with her hairdresser for her hair, makeup, nails—you know, the whole works. He’s reserved a special room at her favorite restaurant and invited their closest friends to join them. He’s written a special letter to her expressing his appreciation and gratitude for their 10 years together. He will read and present it to her at the dinner in front of their friends. Now if that wasn’t enough, he’s been working overtime to make enough money to surprise her with a $2000 necklace that he’ll also give her at the dinner.

Over the past several weeks, it has been heartwarming to hear him talk about this special day. You can see him just bubble up with excitement in anticipation. Clearly, all of this is being done sincerely from his heart—not because he’s messed up and trying to make amends. He’s doing it because he truly loves his wife and wants this Valentine’s Day to be one that is memorable for both of them. Guys, he has the right idea. I hope you get the message.

Times are hard for a lot of people these days and you may not be able to do all that you’d like for your special lady even though you’d like to. The idea is to do what you can and let her know that you wanted to do a lot more. She’ll appreciate knowing that and is likely to be even more appreciative of what you’ve done to acknowledge her. Let your special lady know that you appreciate her, that she’s special and romance her.

Make her feel beautiful, desirable, wanted, and ignite them flame of passion in your relationship. Some guys might say, well, what about me? Yes, it does go both ways. So, check out what Melva has to say to women in tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day article. But guys, right now, just focus on your part in giving your woman a memorable Valentine’s Day. You’ll not regret it.

photo credit: Colin Gregory Palmer

New Year’s Resolutions to Improve Your Marriage

It’s customary for many people to make resolutions for the New Year. You’ve probably already got a pretty long list of things you want to change. As you are considering things you’d like to change in 2010, we’d like to propose that you include improving your marriage among your resolutions. And to enable you to do that, we’d like to offer the following three suggestions:

Compliment More—Criticize Less

If you want to make a positive change in your relationship, express your appreciations and gratitude to your partner more. We tend to tell other people about how much we appreciate about our partners but we don’t always communicate it to them. Our partners would like to hear it too so tell them—every day. Yes, we did say every day! Look for things to compliment—even the small things. The more you look, the more you’ll find.

Create a Consistent Regular Time To Be Together To Have Fun

We recommend that couples establish a weekly “date night” to enjoy each other’s company. Doing it consistently is the key. You also don’t need to spend a lot of money. In fact, we recommend that you find free or minimal cost stuff to do that you can enjoy. We suggest that you take turns alternating responsibility for planning the date night activity. Allow yourself to go and do things that you normally wouldn’t do. The bottom line—have fun!

Learn How To Communicate Better

The #1 problem in most relationships is an inability to communicate effectively. The ability to communicate successfully is a skill that must be learned. Resolve to learn how to talk to each other in a way that enables you to work together, to reduce conflicts, and to maintain a close, intimate connection. Let us know if you’d like help in this area of your relationship.

We want you to know that we are wishing you an abundance of happiness and success in 2010.

photo credit: KevBow