Marriage Affairs: Move Forward with Forgiveness

Marriage Affairs Move Forward with Forgiveness

In order to move forward and rebuild your relationship, you must forgive. Forgiveness begins with a decision to forgive. Until, or unless, you forgive, you will remain stuck in all of the emotional pain, anger, disappointment, and distrust because it will serve as a constant reminder of what has happened.

You will re-live the entire episode over and over again—like watching a bad movie repeatedly and not being able to “turn it off.” This is no way to live. You must decide to “hit the stop button” so that you can get on with your life and all the new, exciting, and marvelous possibilities that await you.

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Marriage Affairs: Identify Your Marriage Problems

Marriage AffairsOver the past few weeks, we’ve been featuring articles that deal with marriage affairs. By far, in our marriage counseling experience, the biggest devastation to marriages, above all else. There is hope–by identifying your marriage problems, you can significantly decrease the chances your marriage would be destroyed by affairs. Here’s a few steps to help you identify your marriage problems.

Step One: Brainstorming

The first step in figuring out what happened is to have an honest, open, and frank “problems in our marriage” brainstorming session within a maximum of a five-minute time limit. “Brainstorming” means that you list as many items as you can without discussion within the five-minute time limit. You don’t make long speeches, give examples, or explain what you mean. Simply state the problem in as few words as possible. Do not allow yourself to become reactive, critical, negative, or judgmental as you work. We suggest that you alternate putting items on your list.

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Marriage Affairs: Unresolved Marital Problems

Marriage AffairsMany people who cheat are not serial cheaters. Most likely, they are not those who go out and deliberately seek to have an affair. They sometimes find themselves “caught up” in an affair because it fulfills some unmet need. Our marriage counseling experience has taught us that many affairs get started at work.

The entrance of a large number of women into the workplace has brought men and women together who work together, interact with each other, and have conversations with each other. This close association between men and women provides an opportunity for people to develop friendships. Now, if something is lacking in their marriages/relationships at home, if they do not feel that they are being heard or respected or their needs aren’t being fulfilled by their partner, these relationships have the potential of going beyond “friendships” if they fail to maintain certain marital boundaries.

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