Most likely, if you’re married, your commitment in marriage began with the exchanging of vows. The commitment you made to your spouse probably included words where you agreed to love, cherish, honor, comfort, keep each other in sickness and health, for better or worse, richer or poorer, and forsaking all others for as long as you both would live. These were promises—a marriage commitment, a pledge, a vow you made to each other in the presence of witnesses. They were not just mere words to be taken lightly—something you were expected to say that had no real meaning. They were intended to have been taken seriously because commitment to your spouse in marriage is an extremely important, serious, and solemn matter.

It means that once the marriage commitment is made that your lives are bond together forever. It means that you have committed to remain married and work through whatever challenging life situations you might encounter. It means that the ways you relate to each other are determined by the commitments contained in your vows. You have made a free, conscious decision to commit to an exclusive legal, morale, emotional, spiritual, and sexual marriage relationship with your spouse. And because of it, each of you has committed to hold a very special place in your heart that is reserved just for each other.

In our marriage counseling with couples, we emphasize that commitment in marriage should not be just the “exchanging of the vows” at the wedding and then forgotten. Commitment to your spouse should be demonstrated on an ongoing daily basis. For example, it might mean turning off the TV or leaving the computer to have an important conversation, coming right home after work to spend some quality time with your spouse, delaying or forgoing a personal purchase to help pay a bill, working a temporary low paying menial job because the money is needed to meet your family’s financial obligations, following through on what you promised, or being tired and exhausted but deciding to be available to each other when needed, etc., etc.

Your commitment can be demonstrated in thousands of ways—both great and small. How to commit in any marital situation is determined by whatever is needed to love, honor, cherish, comfort, and keep each other in the moment. It requires doing the work to demonstrate your love and caring even when it is the most difficult, you don’t want to do it, but you do it anyway!

There is a powerful, wonderful, peaceful and tremendous sense of security, confidence, safety and trust in marriage when couples demonstrate their ongoing and unwavering commitment to their spouse. Commitment builds character. It enables both persons in their marriage to achieve their full potentials both as individuals and as a married couple. Commitment means you bring to the table the best you have to share—your time, talents, attention, energy, and very best effort. And because you’ve made the commitment to yourself, each other, and are following through, there is no question that you will be successful.

If your desire is to have the highest quality of life possible, we suggest that you review your commitments to yourself and your marriage. Are you doing everything possible to make your marriage happy, fulfilling, and successful? Are you doing all that you need to do to be the very best person you can be so you can be and even better spouse in my marriage? Think about it.