7 Pillars of a Strong Relationship
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How to Spot Marriage Problems

If the title of this article has caught your attention, there’s a good chance that you may already be having some marriage problems or you’d like to know how to spot any before they start getting serious. That is the purpose of this article—to help you spot potential problems and offer suggestions about what to do before they get serious.

Being able to spot the warning signs and then learning how to deal with your marriage problems are important to the success of any mutually satisfying long term committed relationship. In the 33 years that we have provided help for couples with marriage problems, it has been disheartening to have seen couples needlessly spending years struggling when they could have gotten help for their marriage problems earlier. Yes, we have enabled thousands of couples overcome the obstacles in their relationships. We have helped them restore hope and a belief that they could make things better. And we have celebrated their accomplishments as they’ve successfully made a fresh new start.

It can be done!

We’ve seen it happen time after time. Our honest sincere best advice is this—if you’re beginning to have problems in your marriage, take action right away! Get help without delay! Spare yourself of a lot of wasted time with an increasing mountain of marriage problems. Now, let us help you spot some of the most common that, if not addressed immediately, can result in serious problems. We suggest that you put a checkmark next to any that might apply to your marriage or relationship. These problem behaviors can be done by you, your partner, or both.

Marriage Problems Warning Signs

  • Inability to communicate—especially about particular topics
  • Ongoing unresolved conflicts and disagreements that can often lead to heated arguments
  • Avoidance behaviors—spending more time at work, with the kids, on the computer, with family or friends, hanging out, etc. doing just about anything to justify not spending time with your mate
  • An increasing lack of sexual desire to the point where there is little or no sex
  • Questions and/or uncertainty about your partner’s sexual fidelity
  • One or both partners increase the amount of criticizing, blaming, and nagging
  • Partners being demanding or controlling of their partner
  • Complaining to family and/or friends about your partner
  • Being secretive – unwilling to disclose certain personal and/or financial information to your mate
  • Feeling more and more victimized in the marriage/relationship
  • Not consulting with each other about purchases
  • Stressing each other out about the “small stuff”
  • Not keeping your commitments by not following through on what you’ve said you would do
  • A general feeling of not being happy in your marriage or relationship

Quite often, many of the warning signs above start off rather small. They might involve minor irritations. However, in time, especially if they are not addressed, they become increasingly worse and before long they can become a major marriage problem(s). In far too many instances, some partners deny the significance of their marriage problems and /or couples may try valiantly to address their issues but just don’t know how to deal with them successfully. And, unfortunately, many couples do not get help for their marriage problems soon enough, if at all, and loose any hope or desire to repair their marriage or relationship.

Don’t lose hope, you can re-write the story of your marriage.  The sooner you seek help for your marriage problems, the better chance you’ll have of resolving those problems.


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