How to Fight Fair in Marriage

August 3, 2010 By Jesse Johnson Leave a Comment

Unfortunately, many couples just don’t know how to fight fair in marriage. We see it consistently in our marriage counseling sessions. Understand that fighting is unavoidable because couples have different opinions about a lot of things. There are times when they agree—and others when they don’t. The point is to not avoid fights, but to learn how to fight fair and grow from what you learn… together.

* Discuss Only One Topic At A Time

Don’t “kitchen sink” by bringing up everything you’ve been unhappy about. Stay focused on one topic at a time. Don’t bring up anything else until you’ve successfully resolved the first one.

* Listening Without Interrupting

If you’re going to get resolved, both of you must feel heard and understood. You are likely to have different opinions, memories, and points of view. That’s OK. Just listen to understand.

* Fight For A “Win–Win” Resolution

You can only win when you both win.

Learning how to fight fair in marriage will help you maintain the loving connection both of you deserve.

About Jesse Johnson
Jesse holds a Master’s Degree in Humanistic & Clinical Psychology from the Michigan Graduate School of Professional Psychology and is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist and Consultant. He is also an ordained minister and retired Director of School Community Relations for the Detroit Public Schools. Jesse loves to go to the movies with Melva - he's learned the hard way, she won't share her popcorn, not even with him!

Updated: August 3, 2010 Free Marriage Articles
Topics: Communication, Marriage Advice

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