A question we’re often asked is how to keep from being ignored by your mate in a long term marriage as a couple. In the beginning, it wasn’t that way. Your mate was attentive to your needs and desires. But now, you’re feeling ignored, taken for granted, and there’s little emotional connection or intimacy. If you’re being ignored, it’s extremely painful. You may ask for time and attention but your mate may make excuses or downright refuse. It is both painful and abusive to live with someone who professes to love you but who ignores your wants, feelings and desires. If you, or someone you know, is in this situation, it is likely that at one time or another they may have asked themselves, “if I can’t get what I want from this relationship, why am I here?” So, how did you get to this place? What has gone so terribly wrong?
The state of your marriage today represents an accumulation of your life together as a couple. When couples perceive that 50% or more of their experiences together have been fulfilling, mutually satisfying, happy, and rewarding, it results in a stronger bond and loving connection. When the level of satisfaction goes considerably below the 50% mark, the more dissatisfaction couples report about their relationships.
In our experience, the #1 reason why couples have dissatisfaction is because of an inability to communicate what they truly need from each other to feel loved and cared about and the inability to resolve problems in the relationship. Years of accumulated unmet needs produce a continuing disconnect between the couple. They may share the same house but except for their children, may live in two different worlds.
So, how to you overcome the pain of being ignored? The solution is what it has always been. Learn each other’s love language and take action. If you have difficulty accomplishing this on your own, get some professional help. We can help. For the sake of your marriage and your family, let us help you.